


"You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece."

by SlitheredFromEden



Series: "OCD Got Nothing On Me (Yeah Right)" a memoir by Arthur Pendragon [14]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:22:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6323809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlitheredFromEden/pseuds/SlitheredFromEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is struggling with his change</p>
            </blockquote>





	"You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Colors by Halsey

If anyone told Arthur he'll be getting married exactly a year ago he would've laughed at their face. Life has been a blessing lately for Arthur. He has a daughter, a loving finacé, and an almost stable relationship with his not so stable sister. 

Morgana is trying to squeeze back into his life, Arthur doesn't know what he'll do about that. He's not sure if he even wants to do anything. Arthur believes Morgana deserves a second chance. 

"There he is." Lance announced as Arthur entered into his kitchen. "Our very own Artie Penn." 

"Don't call me me that." He shoved him playfully. "I see speech therapy with with with Guinevere is working well." 

"It is." Lance blushed..

"You're welcome." Arthur took his seat beside Merlin. "Good morning, love." 

"Good morning." They shared a sweet kiss. 

"Yay." Elena clapped. "Kissies." 

Breakfast continued on that happy note. Lance talked about Gwen the entire time. Arthur was happy Lance took on speech therapy like he promised as long as Arthur tried being different everyday. To be honest, Arthur was scared of change. He's been the same for thirty years, switching everything up is going to be a nightmare come alive. 

"It's better if you change on the world rather than it changing on you more than it already has." Leon had said during their pervious session. "The world is unpredictable, Arthur. I think it's time for you to prep for the unforeseen."  

In ways Leon made sense, but also he didn't. Arthur adjusted to his daughter, true it took months of therapy but it worked. What nagged in the back of his mind was a thought.. a thought that'll be sure to ruin his day _'You've adjusted to one kid. Merlin would want another kid or kids, you'll continue suffering from paranoia time and time again.Why are you so keen of torturing yourself? Don't get married.'_

Arthur tightened his hold on his spoon. Merlin and Ellie are both counting on him to try and get better. That's exactly what he's planning on doing. He's moving forward unpredictably, he's getting married.

"Arthur? Did you hear me?" Merlin's soft voice dragged him back to reality. 

"Hmm? Sorry no." Arthur gave a guilty look. 

"Are you alright, mate?" Lance leaned forward.  

"I'm fine fine fine." Arthur assured the two. 

"Well, I suggested that we try to have Morgana as far away from Freya." 

"Why's that? Morgana will behave herself." Arthur furrowed his brows. 

"I'm not worried about what Morgana will do, it's more of what will Freya do." Merlin explained. "She had her baby, she'll return to her old menacing self." 

"Whatever you want." Arthur shrugged painfully. 

"Excuse me, what?" Merlin asked shocked. "You love this type of thing. Having everything your way." 

"Nope," Arthur shook his head. "I'm trying to not be in control for for for once." 

"If you ever need to be, just say." Merlin kissed his cheek. "Baby steps, love." 

"I'll be fine, Merlin." 

Merlin chatted away with Lance about seating arrangements. Arthur had to get away, he didn't need his brain nagging about how he can do it much better. He also discovered seating by Ellie made him itch with the need of taking control. 

His phone went off, Morgana's name flashed on screen. "Hello." 

"Hey brother, I was thinking about having Ellie for the weekend." Morgana popped a piece of gum. 

"I don't know.." Arthur's voice trailed off. "Gwaine might take her." 

"Come one, Arthur!" She urged. "I love having her around." 

"I love her her her without a corrupted mind." 

"Arthur, you wound me. Tell her to pack up." 

"I'll have her pack up." Arthur caved in. "Be be br be here in thirty minutes." 

 "I will." 

True to her word, Morgana arrived thirty minutes later. Ellie giggled with glee as she was escorted into her aunt's car. Arthur gripped the door handle, mentally fighting the urge to open-close the door. 

"She'll be fine, Arthur." Morgana assured him, unaware of his situation. 

 "I can't. .." His voice barely audible. 

"What did you say?" 

"I CAN'T CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE WHO I AM!" He shouted between door slams. ""I AM BROKEN AND THERE'S NOTHING TO DO ABOUT IT! THERE WILL ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT WILL TICK ME OFF I JUST CAN'T ANYMORE!"

Arthur took down the road, tears streaming down his face. He was numb and exhausted all at once. Tired and awake it drove him crazy. He needed to be alone. Maybe forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm ending this series soon.


End file.
